My apologies for the late post. Tuesday there was no power; my devices hadn't charged over night and the wifi was out. Wednesday I start a post, but get caught up reminiscing on past travels and overwhelmed dealing with stress these past weeks. I decide to head out and spend the night in a different location, which didn't have cell service (I know there's a cell tower right there, trust me, I was trying to get reception).
Packing a bag, I hit the road within the hour; driving North to the same beach from a few weeks ago. Riding is a great opportunity to analyze my situation. A chance to be silent and let my subconscious do what it needs. I start talking to aloud, listing my blessings:
Back up assets
Parents who support me living abroad
Having a Canadian passport
Having been in seven countries this year
The opportunity to teach older students at work
Listing the blessings of my situation made it clear -- life isn't as stressful as I'm making it. It's funny how large we can imagine our problems to be.
“If I could modify the human body…”
I conclude the stress has been growing from three situations:
Getting out of Nha Trang helps clear my head. Large mountains and open valleys, provide reassurance — these mentally created issues are insignificant. I have a life where I can impulsively drive a few hours away, and spend the night camping on a tropical beach. How many people around the world, wished they were on a tropical beach, the exact moment I stood there? A wave of appreciation and calmness wash over me while standing alone in the sand.
I go for a swim and immediately feel much better. I love being under the water. If I could modify the human body, I'd make our hands/feet have a small web between the fingers/toes, a tail for improved balance and gills on the side of the ribs under the armpits. Yup. So there.
"Everything will be ok."
Having set up my tent, I start a fire and stare at the flames. I can barely hear the crashing waves, while the odd crackle keeps it from becoming too silent. It's 7pm, the stars and moon fill the clear sky. Because of the breeze, the fire burns through my stockpile of wood rather quickly, and soon, only embers remain.
I'm better equipped compared to my first time camping on the beach, in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. I still wake up a couple times, thankfully, a sheet and inflatable pillow make it more bearable. To iron out the kinks, I'll bring a small collapsible chair, an inflatable mattress and bigger pillow next time. Overall, the Flying Tent, performed well. I especially enjoyed opening the rain cover and welcoming the sun rise.
September has been an emotional roller coaster: a friend repeatedly telling me, incorrectly, about my attractions, sexuality and future behaviours; the stress of working on a new project I've never attempted before, poorly managing my finances, dietary conscious incompetence, lack of hustling, and dealing with the loss of autonomy compared to the free entity I've been while roaming Viet Nam and other countries.
At the end of this inner observation period, I came to realize: I am presented with a test. Travelling always does this. It's the fastest way to build, and observe, character. It's an opportunity to approach a challenge with courage and creatively sort it out. A chance to learn. Which is what I'm going to do. I know every mountain peak has a valley in between. I've toured, studied, worked and lived in a number of countries, surely, I can tackle this!