A few weeks ago, a fellow Canadian expat introduced herself to me. We spoke briefly, exchanged WeChat info (think of WeChat as so engrained here, it's like how Torontonian's say they're getting an Uber, instead of a taxi) and I head on home.
As we message over WeChat for the past two weeks some of the texts caught me a little off guard, and I wasn't sure if we would get along well in person. Last week one morning she asked if I wanted to come by and chill in the afternoon. Forgetting about the experience thus far via WeChat, and working out some logistics, I agreed to visit.
I arrive and get my scooter locked head up. We get into her apartment and I'm pleasantly surprised at the layout and decor, it was very nice! I immediately felt comfortable in the place. Being fairly intuitive, once I make a decision on something, it's rare for me to doubt myself, I trust my own judgement. Furthermore, people can notice and sense what you feel, so by me being comfortable and relaxed she could be a little more as well.
Those of you who are close to me, know I am pretty mellow, not a fan of unnecessary small talk and enjoy someone who can actually engage me in conversation. It's meant to be engaging, intriguing and emotional. The four people who are closest to me all engage in these types of conversations, there is drama in the tones, sarcasm, facts, as well as vocal changes in both pitch and tone frequently. I get bored if someone cannot equally participate in thought-provoking conversation.
Intelligently conversing also means someone is able to respect an opinion, listen to supporting evidence and be capable of politely reciprocating in acceptance and agreement (note how the two aren't the same 😱), acceptance and disagreement, in rejection and disagreement or to suspend judgement all together. For example, I have a friend who is a visible minority and thinks Hitler was an accomplished person. Now, most of you will scowl at this, and be quick to judgement. This simply demonstrates how you cannot differentiate between acceptance and agreement. Think of it, Hitler did commit atrocities, however, the scale of which he achieved his goals, the motions he put into place, the obstacles he overcame etc. was (and potentially is) unmatched! I'm not in support of his genocide efforts, and being able to say "I do not agree with his efforts to eradicate Jews, and acknowledge the guy was driven, motivated and accomplished (even if his accomplishments were tragedies)" indicates a level of intelligence I can appreciate. Do you see the difference? A simplified example would be listening to a piece of music and saying "I don't like the music, though the piece is well composed/performed".
As travellers there are many discussed issues we share, understand, admire and hate. It is great she is from around Toronto, and familiar with the city. Obviously, once we started talking about Toronto (shout out to the 6IX!), we found numerous more things we mutually related on. And what was better was she has significantly more experience travelling and could teach me valuable insights. You want to impress me, teach me something. Want to take it a step further, understand the details. I was impressed.
Appreciating decent quality sound is another way to do so. When you are in the zone, having good vibe music, on great quality speakers in a fantastic way to set to a backdrop. Getting lost in a song is something many can understand. But when your level of getting lost in a song becomes a little more... elevated, time goes a little slower and the song continuously gets better, especially if you can lock into a specific instrument within the song. If you can do this, you know exactly what I mean, and if you can't I hope you can experience it one day.
The afternoon flowed without effort. I've noticed close friends of mine are all similar in a few regards, one of which is when we hang out, technology is permitted, mostly for the means of finding content related to or reminding of the subject matter, and not abused. On device time is likely less than 10% (changing music isn't included, because then the discussion turns to the music). With conversation varying, both of us unapologetic of ourselves/opinions, and mature mutual openness people can actually enjoy time together. Who knew? (Sarcasm)
Being there for four hours, felt more like six or seven, which was a good thing. Spending time with someone as the objective of hanging out is not done often enough. Many people I know want/need some kind(s) of activity to be taking place in order to be stimulated or engaged. Which, is fine... to each his own. Skipping the psychological implications such required action indicates, spending time together as the objective shows a great deal of self-confidence when a person is comfortable, and capable of doing so.
The area was great, big building complex, similar to mine with 6-14 buildings per complex, all gated and guarded, and decent communal gardens in the middle. It was a smog covered day, and was really high in the sky. You couldn't see the sun at all, but the temperature was a cool 24°C (if you knew me before last year, you'd know 25 was pretty much the max temp I'd go out in, now mid-30's are no problem). I was in a good mood, the temperature drop was a nice change, and as a result it felt good wearing a long sleeve shirt. I'm still listening to the Urban Flora album I stumbled across two weeks ago and all these things just had me in the zone as they culminated.
Sitting at the window, her and I starred out the at the park across the street. The buildings making up the complex containing the park were built on a diagonal line similar to tracing the squares in a diagonal line from one corner of grid paper to the other. In this case, they also came to a point making this park appear like a piece of pie with jagged edges on both sides (us sitting at the biggest end). What was cool was the stark contrast of greens on the same trees -- showing the new growth and old.
With our attention captivated, we zoned out, while our conversation continued. I have a term for people who are able to get to this point, I call it being "alone together". It means being at the level of understanding you can feel their vibe, sense their intent and none of it needs words to be communicated. People I spend significant time with are informed (not just opinionated) and openly communicative. The thing about communication though, is to know there is a time to talk, and there is a time to enjoy the visuals... when that's happening, it's best to sit and relax while you "go down the rabbit hole". We discussed this, yes, I can use the term, even though I haven't seen the movie/read the book, because the term is still applicable! 😁
This new life of mine is constantly bearing fruit, providing insights, opportunities and new contacts. There is much to be grateful for and appreciate. The more I follow my intuition the more I enjoy my life. Taking time to recognize enjoy life, believe or not actually takes effort. How many times do you grin uncontrollably and think to yourself "Damn, my life is great!"? I experience this feeling once a week or so, and if you aren't, you should make the changes to do so. Maybe it means changing your program, school, friends, interests, environment, location or attitude. I can tell you for certain, your attitude directly influences everything around you. It gets even better when you know what you want in life because then you can strive for it and acknowledge when it happens!
Meeting these kind of people, people who travel all over the world, know LPTs for various countries and little glitches in the system are the best people. As I'm still experiencing now, there is a special treatment in life for those who travel frequently, and allows one to learn many fascinating things. A global traveller is someone unlike anyone else, except those few others who also partake. My walk follows a beat, my iPhone is my record and my passport is the only key I need, Hello World.