My dearest Netflix,
We've been together for so long. Our relationship started out roughly five years ago. Your sexy domain caught my gaze, and your offer of a no-strings-attached-all-access-granted two week trial was enticing. Not many people offer home base for a two week trial period up front, but that's just the kind of person I wanted! Ever since I entered my credit card number, you were always there for me. Keeping me company on lonely nights, and being an amazing host when guests came over. Your willingness to entertain and satisfy has been much appreciated.
I know I haven't been perfect, my card did get declined a couple times. But I promise, it wasn't because I was getting cozy with Hulu, Amazon Prime or even worse -- Cable TV. I'd never do that to you. I acknowledge this past year things have been difficult between us. It's not you, it's me. I promise. When I moved away for work, I thought to myself, "things will stay the same, the distance will make us stronger, we can always FaceTime to stay in touch".
Having never been in a long distance relationship, I assumed things would progress as normal, you know? I'd turn on the VPN and our love would flourish like it always has. We'd still get to see each other when I'd come home to you after a long day of work. For some reason though, you didn't want to FaceTime anymore which put a serious strain on our relationship. You said you'd be available to me in 196 countries, just not the one I was in. That hurt. Without VPN I couldn't FaceTime you and I was all by myself. On occasion you'd answer, but even then you were low quality, and only online for a few minutes at a time. I felt you didn't love me anymore, like I wasn't good enough.
I never intended for this to turn out the way it did, but you were never around and I was lonely... and iTunes, well, she was just available. Like any other person, she has her issues, but she also came with some strong perks. I will admit, your low monthly fee to hook up was great, and you put out a lot, on-demand even. You're definitely not an amateur. Dont think that went unnoticed. Even though iTunes charged me each time we hooked up, she has a lot more experience. She's worked in the industry a lot longer, and, well, I've been expanding my kink list so... Yeah, things happened.
If we're being honest, our entire relationship has always been a little polyamorous. You were the stable, consistent one and iTunes was the naughty little secret who offered to indulge my fantasies without judgement. It was never a regular thing until I left, just on the odd business trip, I swear. It's not fair, I know, but while we're being honest, it's not as if you were exclusively committed either. Technically your Terms & Conditions didn't say we couldn't see other people so don't act like I left you high and dry.
Hopefully our time apart has allowed you to think about our commitment as much as I have. I may not have tweeted you to say how much I missed you and wanted you by my side this past year, but deep down I have. Just ask my housemate, I've talked about you a lot. In the coming days, I'll be moving somewhere else, somewhere that you are available without VPN. I've been looking forward to it and that has to count for something, right?
What do you think about giving it another shot? All I've wanted these past few months is to curl up in bed and spend some quality time together. Once I move, there will be a lot more free time for us to rebuild, I promise. You need to understand though that I have needs, just like you do. I've grown this past year, iTunes and I have a good thing going. She's got a different set of skills and I've become accustomed to how well she performs. I can offer you consistency and mutual affection, I just hope you can understand where I'm coming from now that we've been apart. It's not wise to try and be someone's everything. You're skilled at many things, and are great at coming up with your own styles and techniques. While iTunes is more expensive, she performs some specialized techniques that fit my more out there niche kinks.
It's just that the two of you fulfill different needs. iTunes gets a bigger share of my wallet because of the specialized technique while you capture the biggest share of my viewing time because of your new content and low price. It's not a matter of who's better overall, because both of you are important in my life and play different roles. Hopefully you can accept that.
Perhaps you have a new side thing going on too, or a continued one from long ago. We're both mature enough to understand it's possible to share our love with more than one person while allowing our own bandwidth to grow at the same time. We'll give polyamory a no-strings-attached-all-access-granted two week trial. How about that?